WHAT ABOUT SEXUAL CONCERNS?

Painful Intercourse

Pain with intercourse can cause problems in a couple’s sexual relationship. In addition to the physically painful sex, there is also the possibility of negative emotional effects. The problem should be addressed as soon as it arises so it doesn’t cause deeper emotional and physical symptoms that build up and are too damaging to be fixed. Working with women who have pain is one of my specialties.

Sexual/Performance Anxieties or Inhibitions

Why are we afraid to say what we want, like or don’t like in the bedroom? I believe that this fear comes from an underlying anxiety many of us have about sex. Our sexual anxiety keeps our mouths closed and the fact that we’re not communicating about sex robs us of the experience and connection you could and should have. We have socialized ourselves to think of sex as an act, a performance, with an expected role we are supposed to conform to. Why are we worrying about outcomes vs. enjoying the ride? Sexual concerns and performance anxiety are common and can be worked on with great success.

Orgasm Difficulties or Never Being Able to Achieve One

Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 12% of women and 75 per cent don’t orgasm during intercourse.. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

Is it a physical problem, an emotional block, or both?

Low or Mix-Matched Sex Drives

Some people have sex every day, some have it a couple times a year, some never. There’s no right or wrong answer as to how much sex one should be having. Too much or too little sex becomes a problem only when there is a difference in sex drive between partners. 1 in 3 couples have concerns with mismatched sexual desire and when this issue is not addressed, it undermines the intimacy of the couple and can lead to misunderstanding, frustration and even infidelity. Both people within the couple have to be on board to make it work for changes to occur. Depending on how long the relationship has been sexless or with minimal intimacy will make the difference as to how long it will take to get things back on track. There needs to be communication, understanding, time and most of all patience to see changes in the relationship. Sometimes it can be as easy as doing a physical check or a change in medications to notice a difference but sometimes it may be more psychological and really focusing on the needs and desires of both partners in depth to make the necessary change to a bring back a positive intimate and sexual relationship. The goal is to reconnect on an emotional level.

Pregnancy or Postpartum Concerns

Sex when trying to get pregnant can be fun and exhilarating in the beginning. But as the months or years go by, sex can turn into a source of frustration and stress. Trying to get pregnant can make us forget that sex is more than intercourse. Sure, you need intercourse to get pregnant. But you don’t need intercourse to show love and affection to each other. Infertility can bring up feelings of shame for men and women. It’s common for women to feel less like a woman and for men with infertility to feel less manly. Even if you once felt sexy and attractive in the past, infertility can change how you see yourself. How can you improve your sex life while trying to get pregnant or if you have just had a baby? What should you expect in the bedroom postpartum? Are you worried you won’t feel sexy and that things will be different down there? Will it hurt? What is sex like after the baby?

LGBTQI-Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Sexual identity is complex; it exists on so many different levels in which looked at together, can encompass infinite variability and possibility. Gender identity is how they feel inside in relation to their gender. Many people identify their gender primarily with their sex as assigned at birth, which is referred to as cisgender. Transgender people identify with a sex/gender other than what was assigned to them at birth. Sexual orientation is to whom we are sexually and romantically attracted. It is important for people to realize that there are limitless possibilities of whom people are attracted to and that all are natural expressions of human sexuality. If you are questioning your gender or orientation, are a parent of a questioning child, in an LGBT relationship, you can find answers here.

Dating Concerns Especially if Out of a Long Term Relationship

After breaking up from a marriage or long-term relationship, it can be scary getting back out into the dating world. You have relied on one person for so long to address your needs that you may have lost your confidence to do it on your own. Being single can be very liberating as you are forced to see what you can do on your own and be empowered to grow stronger by learning new skills and talents that you never knew existed! First thing is that you want to look and feel attractive. I can help you work on things that you may want to improve upon with how you feel about yourself and your looks. There are a lot of changes with dating etiquette; especially with the internet and dating sites around so a coach can help with developing a profile that will strike interest in others. Learning where to go from there can be worked on as well. Being sexual with someone new after being in a long-term relationship may be daunting and you may want to improve on some skills. Let me help u make the right choices when it comes to dating and sex.

Swinging & Alternative Lifestyles

Swinging, also known as “wife swapping” or “partner swapping”, is a non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Many cite the increased quality, quantity, and frequency of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. It can benefit many relationships but can also do a lot of damage if not gone about the proper way. There is also polyamory, BDSM, which is bondage, discipline, sadism & masochism and any other alternative lifestyles you can think of. Interested in getting involved in these type of lifestyles? Wanting to get out of it? What are the reasons you want to be involved in the first place? Let me help you navigate properly to make sure you keep the relationships safe in either direction

Early Ejaculation (usually considered less than 1 minute)

Early, or premature ejaculation occurs when a man ejaculates sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. Premature ejaculation is a common sexual complaint. Estimates vary, but as many as 1 out of 3 men say they experience this problem at some time. As long as it happens infrequently, it’s not cause for concern.

However, you may meet the diagnostic criteria for premature ejaculation if you:

• Always or nearly always ejaculate within one minute of penetration
• Are unable to delay ejaculation during intercourse all or nearly all of the time

Feel distressed and frustrated, and tend to avoid sexual intimacy as a result. Both psychological and biological factors can play a role in premature ejaculation. Although many men feel embarrassed to talk about it, premature ejaculation is a common and treatable condition. Medications, counseling and sexual techniques that delay ejaculation — or a combination of these — can help improve sex for you and your partner.

Erectile Dysfunction

This is the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual activity. The most important organic causes are cardiovascular disease and diabetes, neurological problems, and drug side effects. Erectile dysfunction can have severe psychological consequences as it can be tied to relationship difficulties and masculine self-image. Psychological concerns can make the situation worse and causes failed erections for this reason and not anything else; this is somewhat less frequent but can often be helped. Erectile dysfunction is common, and approximately 40% of males suffer from erectile dysfunction at least occasionally. Sometimes more drastic measures need to be looked at but a start is to figure out what area is blocked and see if maybe special products may be helpful or it could be just a change in your thinking to make a change in the dysfunction.

Disabilities or Medical Issues Pertaining to Sex

Most people with disabilities experience the same desire for pleasure, love, and physical connection as any other person but they just may have special needs to be able to achieve that pleasure. Do you feel like people look at you as a non-sexual being and want some help to be able to express how you feel? Help to find different ways to gain sexual pleasure? Communication is very important in this type of a relationship and having a coach can help you learn yourself and better understand your body and its limitations to find ways to enjoy your sexual relationships.

Fetishes/Kink/Porn

The definition of a sexual fetish is the need for an object, body part or material to achieve an elevated state of sexual arousal. For many people, these are things that enhance their sexual experiences but aren’t necessarily required to achieve arousal. A true fetishist must always have their individual kink present to reach a state of sexual satisfaction. There are people that enjoy porn and some people include it in their relationships. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with having a fetish or being a little more on the kinky side, maybe you want to learn more about kink and spicing up your relationship. Then there may be times porn and your kink and fetish habits affect your life and relationships in a negative way so let’s figure out how we can work on that together

Sex Education & Skill Building

We get taught everything in life ranging from Math, Science, English and History to Human Anatomy and Physiology but so much of the education lacks the very important subject of Human Sexuality (or Sex Ed). It is no wonder there are so many people who have sexual issues or concerns and don’t know where to go to get the help they need or even if there is anyone to go to. There is so much shame and embarrassment for many who don’t possess the skills to truly be the best they can be sexually and it isn’t anyone’s fault other than society not feeling that the subject of sexuality and intimacy is an important aspect of life and relationships. Dr. Stacy has a diverse medical background and sexual education to offer helpful information about the body, how it works, skills to be a better lover and how to appreciate your partners body better. Don’t be ashamed that you may not know where your clitoris is or how to give oral to your partner or even how to help your partner have orgasms. You were never taught so you learned as you went. Take the time to educate yourself and have better sexual experiences moving forward.

Sex Coaching will give you the tools you need to experience a greater sense of sexual self and a more intimate, fulfilling connection within your relationship. Dr. Stacy offers completely confidential, straightforward, unbiased, sexual information to help you to explore all aspects of your sexuality.